Give yourself some credit and FORGIVE

Give yourself some credit and FORGIVE

You Are Forgiven . . . Now Pass The Plate!

As a human being, you are a miraculous swirling mass of energy and so is everything else in your world. From your physical body to the food you eat to the chair you are sitting in right now – everything that appears solid is, in actuality, comprised of moving parts; molecules and atoms that need to be in constant motion. That’s the nature of energy . . . it moves, transfers, transforms. If you look really closely, all illness, disease and emotional distress can be traced back to energy that has stopped moving – energy that is stuck because it enters into the body but doesn’t leave. Anything that encourages this energy to move, be released and leave the body is a form of healing. One of the most effective ways to free stuck energy is to forgive.

When you judge another or yourself (or even perceive there is ONE way to do, be, think, etc) you stifle your energy flow. And let’s face it, you are always judging the part of yourself you see in another. This judgment leads to guilt. Guilt is a MAJOR energy drain. Guilt is a MAJOR cause of dis-ease.

Forgiveness heals whether you give it or receive it and it even works when you forgive yourself. Forgiving another means to release them from the perceptions you have been projecting on them. Forgiving yourself means you forgive yourself for having those perceptions or judgments in the first place. It is even possible to forgive yourself or another for future thoughts, actions or words which serves as preventative healing for you.

[Tweet “Forgiveness is love and love heals.”]

The Mayo Clinic sites the following health benefits that result from forgiveness:

  • Healthier Relationships
  • Greater Spiritual and Psychological Well-Being
  • Less Anxiety, Stress and Hostility
  • Lower Blood Pressure
  • Fewer Symptoms of Depression
  • Lower Risk of Alcohol and Substance Abuse

Try this exercise:

  1. Choose at least one person in your life and actively write a letter of forgiveness to this person.
  2. Then write a letter to yourself, forgiving your judgment of that particular person.

Bonus Energy Boost: Deliver the letter!

Final Tip: If you are upset with someone for something they said about you, chances are it ONLY upsets if you are afraid they might be right. Failure to forgive is them is based on your fear.

Bonus Gift: Whatever it is you have thought, done or said or WILL think, do or say . . . You are forgiven!”

Letter of forgiveness from a Brain Makeover client who wishes to remain anonymous:

Dear Me,

I forgive you for not being perfect, for not knowing everything, for all the ways you hold yourself to a standard so high that it cannot always be met. I respect that you have high aspirations and goals and that you strive to reach them. However, no one is perfect and by not reaching each of these self-set standards or standards you may believe others are holding you to without really knowing for sure that this is the case, you are not any less or any worse. You are doing the best you can with what you have in any given moment. You are a working mother of small twins and parenting, working and maintaining a marriage are HARD work in themselves, let alone doing them together in this busy crazy world. I forgive you for making mistakes, for not always knowing what to do, or not always doing EVERYTHING.

You are one person. You try pretty freakin’ hard to do everything you can as well as you can and to improve at every opportunity. You are good and you are always trying to be better. This journey is about progress, not perfection. I forgive you for not being perfect. And I should mention that I do not even expect this of you, nor should anyone else. You are good enough just as you are. I believe in you. And you could benefit from relaxing a bit and seeking better balance for yourself and for your family in all of the balls you juggle and are deathly afraid of dropping. Learn to rely on others for help and support and strive to feel that it is ok to need and ask for help.

Your marriage, your kids, your life did not come with manuals. You cannot be expected or expect yourself to know all of the answers and to do it all right the first time. Taking risks isn’t bad and failing now and then when you do provides an opportunity to grow. It happens to everyone, unless they simply play it safe. Please stop beating yourself up and begin seeing these situations for what they are and the opportunities they present rather than judging yourself so harshly. Know that you do not need “forgiveness” for each time you feel less than perfect, from me or anyone, but also know that I universally forgive you for having flaws and for not always getting it right. While it feels good to get it right, no one does so all of the time and learning happens when you don’t. Cut yourself some slack, take a deep breath and know that you are doing your best. You really are and you don’t need to be so mean to yourself to prove it to continue your successes. Please begin treating yourself more like you would treat your husband, kids, friends–with respect and love and compassion. The more you are able to show yourself love and compassion, the more you will exude onto others and the more love will blossom in your life.

This will likely take time because it is a new concept for you–undoing many years of self judgement and criticism that you likely learned from your mom from her own self critical nature and punishment. Be gentle with yourself in navigating into more self love and less self judgement which in itself will be a process. Maybe start with trying to find and deliver love (rather than fear) in all you do. And when you miss a chance, pick up where you left off rather than falling back into self-criticism.You can do it and it will be worth it. I believe in you and so do many others. Keep plugging away–you really are doing great!

Love, Me

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